


The Girl and the Empty Man

by Merior



Series: In A Darker World [1]
Category: Mage: The Ascension, World of Darkness (Games)
Genre: Self-Insert, Truth Until Paradox
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 05:12:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11548194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merior/pseuds/Merior
Summary: Sometimes, when you realise where you are and what that means, all you can do is acknowledge the Truth.





	The Girl and the Empty Man

Once a girl was born into a world of black, white, greys, and too much bright blood red.

Like any child The Girl cried soon after she was born and one would say that she had reason enough to cry. Behind her doctors and nurses worked, trying to save the one she could have come to call mother, but to no avail. The Girl lay there, wrapped in white, as others sought to keep her mother from death.

They failed.

When The Girl left that sterile place she did so in the arms of a man whose eyes were dry but empty. He had no more hope and left the last piece of his heart behind, laying on a slab. There was no love left in him to give, but he nevertheless went through the motions of caring for her.

The Empty Man would continue going through the motions for quite some time yet. He would feed the girl, clean her, provide for her. He would listen to others speak of his loss, to a priest giving a eulogy, and to the way that others slowly stopped speaking of his love at all.

Slowly The Girl grew but he found no joy in her. He watched her learn to walk, learn to speak, and only felt vague relief as she slowly became able to take care of herself. The Empty Man watched and carried on because he remembered that his love would have expected him too.

If the Empty Man noticed that The Girl was special or unusual then he said nothing. She learnt quickly, perhaps unnaturally so, and the spark of genius burnt bright in her mind but his hollowed heart held neither pride nor curiosity about it.

Yet The Girl's heart was not empty.

The Girl remembered all the long years of the Empty Man living without being alive. She remembered the hospital when his heart had lay dying. She wanted more, wished for more, and knew that there should be more.

Most of all The Girl remembered being alive Before and longed for warmth and love.

Something niggled at her as she looked at the world. All the colours here were faded and grey compared to what The Girl remembered and her memories murmured to keep quiet and keep safe.

Slowly The Girl grew and learned to hide her mind behind cutting words and disinterest. Teachers who had once spoken of a potential genius began to forget that she had been anything more than mundane and as she passed into higher classes such things were left behind entirely. When her body started to develop, changing in ways alien to how she had been Before, that too became something to hide behind loose clothing and ugly layers of cosmetics

She knew that something was wrong with the world, that there was more than what was shown on the surface. The Girl noticed how other children came to class with bruises, or worse, and even sometimes ceased coming to class at all. Boys and girls shrieked as they played but only she seemed to noticed the edge that came from those with the latest toys.

The Girl looked into this, tracing back words and names until she encountered one which was familiar to her.

Sitting in a library The Girl stared at the name on a page for a very long time. Outside rain beat on the windows and the scent of disuse from long untouched books was heavy on the air. Her mouth was dry and the taste of vomit lingered at the back of her throat, but she controlled herself enough to carefully put away the book with her shaking hands.

She tried not to think of the Name. She tried to forget the possible truth that it represented, the thing would would explain all the dark truths and corners of the world which she had noticed.

The Girl's school work suffered as she tried to retreat from the Name by escaping into books and this was something which the Empty Man reacted to. Still hollow he mouthed the words, chiding The Girl for her slipping grades, and followed the appropriate motions to correct the issue.

A tutor was arranged for The Girl, an older boy from a good family who could be trusted to be responsible. The Boy smiled and shook hands with the Empty Man, assuring him that The Girl would be taught everything she needed to know and that numbers inked on paper would show that she was a good student.

The Boy said other words, words filled with platitudes and promised to the Empty Man, but what the Girl heard him say hardly mattered. Instead she watched him, saw the way his gaze lingered on her, and should have had warning if her brilliant mind had not been preoccupied with not thinking of _that_ Name.

That terrible Name.

Yet, in the end, the name was forgotten entirely. It was a terrifying Name but, in the end, was simply a name and had little more power than as an idea and there were far more terrifying things.

Such as being The Girl, alone in a room with The Boy, as she was told that she should be a good girl and be nice to her tutor so he could teach her a few things.

He told her that it was her fault that The Boy had to do this. That she made him want her. That he had to hit her to make her stop putting up such a fuss.

The Girl was terrified.

She looked at the Boy, looming close with the gleam of malice and lust in his eyes. Her brilliant mind told her that he was older than her, bigger than her, stronger than her, and had experience fighting. That alone in the house, with the Empty Man away, there was little to nothing that she could do to escape him.

His words rang in her ears, promising that it wouldn't hurt if she was just a good girl. That it would feel nice soon enough. That he deserved this and that she deserved this too.

The Name lingered in her mind with its promise that this was the worst of all possible worlds. That nothing she could would make things even the least but better. That she lived in a World of Darkness where she was just a victim and nothing more.

The world itself said that there was only one way that this scene could play out and The Girl knew this with all the certainty of her brilliant mind and memories of Before.

Yet so it was that when The Girl looked up, when she told the world that there _was_ a way out, it was the world which was forced to listen.

For as she stood there, frightened and alone, The Girl remembered something important and understood it. She had remembered that the world lied to her. That history here was not as she was told by teachers and texts. That dark things do dwell in the dark corners, that gods and monsters yet walked the Earth, and that belief held sway over reality itself.

As The Girl stood there she had blinked the scales from her eyes, seen that there was not just one path forward, and a spark ignited inside her which was beyond mere brilliance of the mind.

It was between one breath and the next that she Awakened.

The Girl looked at The Boy then raised a hand to her mouth. She dragged a smear of bright red blood from her lip to her fingers and thought about what blood meant to her and the world. She thought of the red of danger, thought of the bruises on her breast, and thought of just what would have happened next if things had gone unchanged.

She thought of Fear and thought of Hate.

The Boy, no longer smiling and no longer confident, hesitated as though he could sense that something was different. There was no fear in her eyes and the sense of control, of power, he'd felt before had been lost. He looked at The Girl as flicked her fingers at him, a few drops landing on his shirt, and watched her lips slowly turned upwards.

It was, The Boy realised in growing horror, something that could be mistaken for a smile.

The Girl took a step forward and The Boy grew pale then took a step back. Another step and he stumbled back two more. She took a third and he did not stop this time, scrambling backwards as he tried to escape the terror closing in on him.

The Boy knew he had to run. The Boy knew he had to hide. The Boy tripped over a chair, flailed with an arm as he caught himself, then fled towards the door. There was no art to his retreat, no confidence to his stride, but instead he was just a little boy once more fleeing from a monster.

The Girl with empty eyes followed.

The Boy screamed.

It didn't help.

When the Empty Man returned that evening he found The Girl sitting out. The Empty Man had expected The Boy to be there to tell him that all had gone well. Yet instead he found The Girl watching the rain with blood on her lips, her blouse missing, and bruises beginning to show on her pale skin.

"Did something happen?" The Empty Man asked The Girl ( _she's your daughter!_ , a corner of his empty heart hissed but he was well practiced in ignoring it).

"Yeah, Jake had to rush off." She said, looking on with dry eyes as the skies wept.

"He did?" The Empty Man asked in surprise. If there had been any love left in him then he would have asked further, but to ask would require effort.

"He did."

"Ah. Well, you had better go back inside and cover up though."

"Okay, dad. I just stepped out to watch him go and then got caught up in the rain."

The Girl, the Empty Man rationalised, did not seem too upset. Perhaps she had an accident, spilled something on her top, or such? To ask might cause him to be told and it was easier for the Empty Man to just ignore what might otherwise be an issue.

"Dad?"

The Empty Man paused with his hand on the doorknob, "What is it? I've got to get dinner started."

"...nothing."

The Girl said nothing more to the Empty Man as he turned and went inside. Instead she simply sat on the porch, watching the rain wash away more joy from the world, and listened to the distant sirens. Somewhere, perhaps not too far away, there had been an accident not too long ago. The Girl thought that it had perhaps happened soon after The Boy, terrified and horrified, had fled the house in his car.

Aching and bleeding, with blood on her hands and lips, The Girl relaxed for the first time since she had been faced with the Name. She knew the truth of what had happened, she had just seen the hollow where the heart of the Empty Man had been, and she refused to lie to herself anymore about where she was.

"So, this _is_ the World of Darkness?" The Girl said to the rain, "Kindred, Garou, Changelings, _Mages_ , and all that junk. How do you think I'm going to do here?"

The rain said nothing back.

Yet.


End file.
